Can you imagine a divorce playing out with the same unreal intensity as the movie Sharknado? I have seen divorces that make Sharknado, and the freshly caught-and-released Sharknado 2, seem real and believable. Now that’s scary!

Some married couples and unmarried parents approach a break-up of their family unit with over-the-top drama and outlandish flare that rival the film-maker’s artistry. I’ve seen it in those cases that involve the Bentleys and Bimmers, and I’ve seen it mirrored in the cases that can’t even afford an old beater-car to get to work. Human drama and senseless destruction know no boundaries.

Here are a few sharks that I’ve seen swirling in the air over the many years I’ve been practicing family law.

–Kicking the former bride and mother of his children out of the house, locking the doors, changing the locks on the doors, and calling the police whenever she attempts to get in. (Now, most police don’t like to get involved with such domestic disputes, particularly if there is no court order in place. But that doesn’t stop people from calling 9-1-1. These situations get really ugly, really fast, particularly when children are involved and present.)

–The father strangling the mother in front of the impressionable youngster in the back seat of the car. Why? Mom had moved on and started seeing other people after being separated for years. Dad was still a little jealous, you think?

–Peeling out in the car while the other parent is still inside the opened back door of the car buckling up the daughter in the safety seat.

–Husband spending $20,000 dollars at the Louis Vuitton store for products other than his wife’s birthday present (and hubby doesn’t carry a man-purse).

–Racking up $100,000+ in attorney’s fees, just because he can.

–The spouse racking up $200,000+ in attorney’s fees, just because she can.

–Putting hidden cameras up in the bedroom and bathroom to post the other spouse’s private conduct on YouTube.

I really hate it when we as lawyers have to resort to the emergency orders, protective orders, restraining orders, and the like just to get the other side’s attention when events like this occur. Does someone really have to be dismembered by a shark to feel good about the process? Some of these procedures can really leave lasting marks. The parties are often left there pondering whether it is real or fiction. Could that shark actually be falling from the sky and landing in my lap?

It’s imperative to have a lawyer on your side who will protect you and keep others from devouring you during the divorce process. Unfortunately, people don’t always play nice during the times when it may hurt the most. But you should seek that attorney who will help deflect the sharks dropping your way.

Gee, maybe I should’ve used a different movie than Sharknado when talking about lawyers.