You may have excellent reasons for being frustrated with your co-parent. You may even have good reasons to be enraged by your co-parent. But it is far better to speak with an attorney, a counselor, a trusted loved one, or some combination of these support people than it is to retaliate against your co-parent in any way. Not only is retaliation a poor choice for your own well-being, but it is also a poor choice for your child’s well-being and may even affect your ability to gain or retain the child custody arrangements that you prefer.

Retaliation is ultimately viewed as uncooperative parenting behavior by family law judges. Minor instances of retaliation could simply paint you in a bad light in the eyes of the court. More significant acts of retaliation could call into question your fitness as a parent, even if your co-parent has arguably behaved in worse ways.

It can be incredibly difficult to interact with and react to your co-parent in healthy ways, especially if your co-parent is not a particularly healthy person. It can be nearly impossible to take the high road if your co-parent does something unthinkable, like harming your child. But it is the moments that you are most likely to lash out at your co-parent that you need to speak with an objective third party, preferably one who is trained in matters of family law.

Do not risk your own well-being, your child’s wellbeing, and your standing with the court by retaliating against your co-parent. If you need protection, seek out the help of law enforcement and an attorney. If you do not need protection but need something in your child custody, parenting plan, or visitation arrangements to change, please contact an attorney for help. This course of action is far likelier to result in actions you will not regret than retaliating will.

Source: The Huffington Post, “Retaliation Nation,” Monique Honaman