Divorcing a Narcissistic Husband

Divorce isn't easy, even on the best of days. But throw a narcissist into the mix, and things get interesting. A narcissist is someone with an overly inflated sense of self-importance. These people tend to exaggerate their abilities, require excessive adoration, are exploitive, lack empathy, have a very strong sense of entitlement, and are usually men. Worse, still, they can sometimes be hard to spot, since narcissists aren't afraid to turn on the charm to get their way.

In a work setting, you eventually learn to steer clear of these individuals, but it's not uncommon for people to follow that narcissistic charm all the way to the altar. Sadly, once married, it doesn't usually take very long for these relationships to spiral down into a toxic free-fall—one from which a divorce isn't easy to secure. If you are thinking about trying to make a clean break from your narcissist's orbit, here are a few things you can expect when you file for divorce.

1. It Will Get Worse

The first thing to know about divorcing a narcissist is that things will get a lot worse before they get better. The pendulum of your husband's mood swings, abuse, needs, and entitlement will only become more wildly pronounced the deeper into the process you get. This isn't meant to scare but prepare you.

2. Prepare for Emotional Assault

Narcissistic men do not like being challenged. They thrive on control and have an arsenal of emotional abuse tactics primed to launch at any romantic partner brave enough to defy them. This emotional barrage is meant to make you feel small and powerless, which in turn ensures the narcissist stays in control of the situation. Once you file for divorce, this fight for control will turn bloodthirsty. Your spouse will exploit your insecurities, magnify your flaws, and challenge your intelligence in the most brutal ways, all in an attempt to change your mind.

3. Hello, Mr. Two-Face

Narcissists love to be loved, and they won't let this adoring reputation go down easy. Once you file for divorce, it will be shocking to see how differently your spouse acts in front of you versus other people. Narcissists are skilled actors and can play any part—including the victim. Your husband may have already been laying the groundwork and will have no problem convincing people that you are the heartless harpy responsible for destroying a happy marriage. This social isolation is part of a classic manipulation tactic known as gaslighting.

4. Children Are Not Exempt

Sadly, narcissists aren't afraid to employ gaslighting tactics on their own children, and are known to use offspring as emotional pawns during a breakup. Some of the ways a narcissistic husband might use your children include being the "Disneyland Parent," alienation, emotional abuse, and custody threats. The "Disneyland Parent" is a term used by psychologists to describe the way some parents try to make every second with their child perfect post-divorce—all in an attempt to "buy" your child's affection away from you.

5. It's Not Over 'til the Narcissist Objects

Don't expect this to be a quick and easy process. Narcissists are notorious for belaboring the divorce process, filing motions, contesting settlements, and objecting to everything whenever possible. After divorce, your narcissistic ex will be on the lookout for ways to get back at you. But as tempting as it might be to lash out, the most powerful response to these drama-seeking, attention-craving people is to simply sit back and ignore them. In the end, without your attention, they have nothing.

Divorce Attorneys in Texas

Securing a divorce from a narcissistic husband isn't easy, but the end is well worth the effort because it isn't actually an end—it's a beginning. A fresh start, one without the emotional encumbrances that have been dragging you down for years. If you have more questions about how to handle a narcissistic husband or want to talk more about divorce in Texas, call North Texas Family Lawyers today at (972) 436-8000, or schedule a consultation online, and together, we can help break the cycle of abuse that's kept you in check for far too long.